


The Snail Fic

by PrismPrince (orphan_account)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Deception, Discord - Freeform, Originally a roleplay, Salt, Snails, im so sorry, kind of, this is completely my fault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 16:01:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15174278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/PrismPrince
Summary: god. i just. im sorry.





	The Snail Fic

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KamiChameleon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KamiChameleon/gifts), [Pinktoria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinktoria/gifts).



aspen:   
the snails.. they have enlightened me. in fact, you may say that they've... enlisted me as one of their own.  
the snails will strike. they will strike before you know it. you will need to be prepared. you w

mikey:  
oh hes fuckin dead

aspen (?):  
Not to fear, friends! Aspen is alive and well. That's me! Aspen! Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that the snails are of no harm to any of you! You should let one into your home! Perhaps two! Or seven! There is no risk of any uprising, I can assure you.

jerm:  
hi aspen  
ill let snails in my house for u boo xoxo

aspen (?):  
I'd like to thank you, Jeremiah, for following my advice!

connor:  
Ah! Sounds convincing -snail- Aspen! I may take you up on your offe- (Sniffs, confused) Wait a moment..

aspen (?):  
What seems to be the matter, My Dearest Connor?

connor:  
Well -you slimy beast- My Good Friend Aspen, You seem to carry an odd smell!

aspen (?):  
Excuse me, Connor? I think that is quite a rude and unsupported claim.

connor:  
I deeply apologize for what I said, I was speaking falsely and rudely. If I may offer by way of apologizing, may I serve you a meal? 

aspen:  
Why, of course, My Good Sir! What meal?

connor:  
Perhaps some Tuna Cheesy Pasta with Ginger Ale to drink! Is that to your liking?

mikey:  
That sounds gross! White people are wild. (dies in Spanish)

aspen (?):  
I've never had a meal such as that! I'd be delighted to try it, Connor.

connor:  
Of course! May I offer you some SALT.

aspen (?):  
N-no. No, I th-... I think I'll be okay without.. w-without it.

jerm:  
im back just to let you guys know i hate this

connor:  
Why are you so nervous now, Aspen? Why don't you go ahead and sprinkle some on. It does wonders for the taste.

mikey:  
yall sleepin on my hate of tuna cheesy pasta

connor:  
It tastes wonderful, Michael! Why dont you join me and -this slime hearted monster- our Friend Aspen in enjoying this meal.

mikey:  
there is fear in my heart. there is fear in my heart. there is fear in my h

aspen (?):  
No, really, Connor. I wouldn't want to make any dent into your.. s-.. salt supply. I'm really not someone worth wasting it on.

connor:  
But my friend Aspen, I would always love to share with you. After all, -a worthless monster- friend such as you deserves nothing but the best! I'll just give you a bi- Oh, I seem to have spilled some on you.

jerm:  
oh no!!!!!

connor:  
Do not fear, It is not as if our Friend Aspen has a salt intolerance. It's not like he is a SNAIL.

aspen (?):  
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
Y O U F O O L .  
WHEN THE UPRISING COMES, YOU WILL BE THE FIRST TO BE SACRIFICED TO THE CAUSE.  
THIS I AM SURE OOOOFFFFFFffffffffffff.... 

connor:  
Oh, It seems Aspen has withered. A shame, He never got to eat dessert.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks.


End file.
